My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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