All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
