i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
He kissed a someone with a penis
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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