You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize
