Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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