I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Randomize
