I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
