keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
