He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
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