How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Randomize
