How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
