i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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