I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
