I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
