Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize
