whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
