Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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