did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
