Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Randomize
