If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
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