You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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