The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
