I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I have feelings that need drinking.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
