watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
