omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
