is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
