We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize
