I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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