Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
