we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Randomize
