Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Randomize
