she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
its liver damage thursday
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
