I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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