I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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