The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
