What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
