thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
