I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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