im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
