oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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