Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
