why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
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