At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Randomize
