I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
My vagina just clenched in fear
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
