If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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