There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Randomize
