are you so shy because you have an std?
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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