so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Randomize
