I am in a vortex of obligation.
...so i touched it.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
He passed out mid-signature
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
