I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
