Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
