Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
